God was shaking and sifting not only me but the church. You always seem to think it is just you, or just your church, when there are problems, but i started to hear reports from other churches of similar problems. Then from around the world. There was a shaking and a sifting going on all over. This was God's time, His season for it.
I was desperate, hanging on by my fingernails, spiritually drained as was a lot of us. My faith was sure and strong but the situation i found myself in was oppressive and hard. That is all i will say for there is no point in raking over old coals and just in case someone is hurt reading it.
Then came fresh air. The wind of change had come. God was starting a new season. 'See i do a new thing', He says. It started with being given a little yellow booklet called 'The Importance of Forgiveness', by John Arnott.
I knew about forgiveness so i thought, but this book brought a whole new dimension to it. I learnt that by the measure i judge others so i will be judged by that same measure. I should have known that, i did know that, but i didn't always live by that knowledge. My mind shot to the times and things i was judgemental on and i could imagine being judged the same. God showed me that when i judged i gave the enemy the right to get me back in that same area. Why? Because the bible says, 'by the measure...'.
Along with that went, 'you reap what you sow'. If you sow in judgement, bitterness, unforgiveness you will reap the harvest. If you sow in prayer and holiness into your church, then someone along the line reaps the harvest. The same with your children and grandchildren.
This was brought back to me again just this last weekend at a conference. We was told. If you sow 1 tiny seed you usually get a big harvest. Look at 1 pea, 1 bean, 1 potato, how many do you get back when you sow just that 1. Sow 1 judgement seed think how big the harvest will be. If you sow a weed you harvest a weed and that produces lots more seed, and so the weed multiplies. Ouch!
It was with gentleness this was all said, not with a stick to beat, but nonetheless God our Father has a way of highlighting the things he wants us to know.
The second whammy of the book was about forgiveness, once i had sorted out the judging. I had been through forgiving everyone i thought i needed to forgive, but here was all new things that i had never thought of. I am not going to name them in case people read this and do not understand but once again i was brought to my knees.
You can tell when Father is doing something rather than yourself navel gazing or the enemy, there is no condemnation, just an 'oh Father, i didn't realise, i'm so sorry. Then the peace and freedom that comes with repentance.